Everyone's said it better than I have. You're depressed and weight gain and weight loss often goes hand in hand. You are not disgusting and you are not hideous. You're hurting.

I don't know what your health care system is like, but is there anyway of speeding up the process? Are there little things that you can help yourself to improve while you wait? Your knee might hurt, but can you walk a short distance every other day until you get stronger?