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Obviously, I have a flare for dramatics. I want to apologize if I scared some of you, but things are better now.
What was wuth that dramatic, 'I wish to die', post? Well, my dad gets these kind of meal tickets, which one of them is 7.7 euros and you can't get any change from it. Well, those are 'hidden' in our house, and I managed to find their hide. I stole from there. I took almost 100 euros worth of them inside a month and bought huge amount of fast food. On that day, my dad went to that hide first time in month and found out that someone had stolen from there. He kept a long speech where was also me, my mum, sister and brotherr. After the speech my mum comes and asks if I did it. I confessed. She said that she knew, the look on my face was guilty as hell.
She made me confess to my dad and the first thing they bsay is: "e didn't know you felt that bad". I know, I am still baffled. I waited for punishment, not...an sort of apology.
It scared me a bit. I know that my eating cycle is terrible but I never BELIEVED it in my inside. They started complaining about how my teraphy is kind of stuck now and said that they would start to bring big guns on the field after my exams.
What scares me the most is the fact I cannot remember how to be 'normal' again. I don't remember how it felt to not to take a pill in the morning and eat regularly. How it felt to not to think how I should cut my stomach and pour the fat away like a puss.
And there is this one thing. I had a bit of problem getting my receipt renewed, and I chose to wait for a week before getting the new bunch of medicine. Doctor had said that it would take a month before the medicine is away from my system and I fool thought I would be fine for that week. The last days were hell, I was so depressed that I just sat on my bed and held my head unable to do anything. It makes me wonder, if I felt that bad before meds, how am I still alive now and not a new suicide victim.
What was wuth that dramatic, 'I wish to die', post? Well, my dad gets these kind of meal tickets, which one of them is 7.7 euros and you can't get any change from it. Well, those are 'hidden' in our house, and I managed to find their hide. I stole from there. I took almost 100 euros worth of them inside a month and bought huge amount of fast food. On that day, my dad went to that hide first time in month and found out that someone had stolen from there. He kept a long speech where was also me, my mum, sister and brotherr. After the speech my mum comes and asks if I did it. I confessed. She said that she knew, the look on my face was guilty as hell.
She made me confess to my dad and the first thing they bsay is: "e didn't know you felt that bad". I know, I am still baffled. I waited for punishment, not...an sort of apology.
It scared me a bit. I know that my eating cycle is terrible but I never BELIEVED it in my inside. They started complaining about how my teraphy is kind of stuck now and said that they would start to bring big guns on the field after my exams.
What scares me the most is the fact I cannot remember how to be 'normal' again. I don't remember how it felt to not to take a pill in the morning and eat regularly. How it felt to not to think how I should cut my stomach and pour the fat away like a puss.
And there is this one thing. I had a bit of problem getting my receipt renewed, and I chose to wait for a week before getting the new bunch of medicine. Doctor had said that it would take a month before the medicine is away from my system and I fool thought I would be fine for that week. The last days were hell, I was so depressed that I just sat on my bed and held my head unable to do anything. It makes me wonder, if I felt that bad before meds, how am I still alive now and not a new suicide victim.
