(no subject)

[floranna]

I wish I was dead. Wow. Haven't had that thought for a while.

Won't off myself though. I just have to remember than when I have felt better, I haven't regretted being alive. Must remember that fact, even if I cannot feel it now.

Things are looking bad for my avatar bigbang. Probably won't be able to finish it at time.

School is cool. I got there because there were so many people who didn't come there, and people are nice even if the syudies are right now a bit boring.

I want this feeling away. The feeling of wanting to cry, but can't because there is no reason to. The hollow feeling in the chest. I want to smile, laugh and dream. Not end uo under a train.

You know the quizzes you have to take when in therapy, and there is a question about if your sex drive has diminished? I always put a no there before, but right now, when I have generally felt better, I realize that it had diminished considerably. I think about sex, kissing someone, hugging someone, being close to someone all the time now and it hurts.

I just wish for things I am not sure I'll ever get. There's just so much death around and misery, why cannot someone tell anything nice anymore?

God fuck I hate this.

Comments

[yukinoomoni.livejournal.com]

Don't stress too much over the avabang entry. It was everyone's first go and if you don't finish, there's always next time =3.

Maybe if you need to cry, watch a really sad movie. The release sometimes helps.

Above all, don't forget that we love you very much, and I personally know the world would be darker without you.

[zoeiona.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Try to remember that the sun will come out again.

(Also, sun. It must be getting darker in the evenings already over there; do you have Seasonal Affective Disorder at all?)

[spyridona.livejournal.com]

*nuzzles* I won't be finishing mine, so don't feel alone.

Is there a therapist you can talk to? Or things you can do with family or friends?

[beckyh2112.livejournal.com]

I had to drop out of the Big Bang because I knew I'd never finish to my own satisfaction on time.

I've been there. It really does get better; sometimes you walk through hell to get to that better place, though, and sometimes it just spreads under your feet one day.

I do suggest getting out in natural settings, even just going to a park, as a bit of a spiritual rejuvenation. Play loud music you love. Dance. Make art of whatever sort of art appeals to you. Write - sometimes letting the poison bleed onto a page works.

[attackfish.livejournal.com]

I wish I had some advice, but the only thing that pulled me back from the brink was medication, and now that I can't take medication, I'm scrambling to find a way to keep from being pulled back there. I hear good things about exercise and sunlight.

You have my deepest sympathies, and if there's anything I can do, I'll do it. Just ask.

[neldluva.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sad you're not feeling so hot. I've had my highs and my lows, and the lows really really suck, but sometimes for me it helps to remember the highs and now nice they are and will be again.

And I have to echo the vote for sad movies. Crying does you a world of good, if you ask me. I have to do it every few months, even if there's nothing big going on (and if there IS something going on, I'm crying more than once every few months). And that's when I whip out my good crying movies, shut the door to my room, and just indulge for a little. I did it last night, even though I wasn't feeling sad or anything, and I still felt better afterwards.

[ceruleanblue312.livejournal.com]

You don't know me and I hope you don't mind me making a comment here.

I have suffered from periods of extreme depression. I know what it can be like and how you feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Please get some help, whether it may be a therapist, medication or just talking to a good friend (hell, sometimes even talking to a complete stranger can help).

You deserve better than feeling like this.

[devo79.livejournal.com]

Even if you don't get the Avatar bigbang done on time you can still post it here on your own lj or on one of the Avatar comms. Don't get too focused on the deadline. Focus on writing something well.

And good news can be had here:
http://www.goodnewsblog.com/

[lady529.livejournal.com]

I know this is overly late and probably won't help at all, but I'm really glad you friended me. Even when you're feeling like shit, you're still an awesome person *hug*

The Lady 529