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Dec. 8th, 2010 08:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
florannaI have to make a real update right now what has been happening to me. I have posted few entries now in two-three weeks, but honestly saying, there isn't much of news in there.
I have been feeling better. I truly am. Unfortunately it's one of those 'One step forward, two steps back', situations. My depression has been easing now that I have been in therapy over a year. But before when my depression was worse, I never truly thought about my looks or eating. Not at all. I closed those things away from my mind to reserve some of my sanity. Now when the depression has eased, my attention has been taken by those two matters. My binge eating got completely out of control, I rapidly gained weight, I started hating even more of my looks and weight and obsess over those things. And to somehow make myself feel better, there would be a day I ate only once, and the next day I would be bingeing. I talked to my doctor about this and he arranged me to a certain...course meant for binge-eaters. Doctor meeting there, meeting other binge-eaters and couple of lessons to go. It's in february and I am kinda excited about it.
This has made my ability to concentrate...impossible. I forget dozens of things, I spend hours doing nothing because I can't muster enough energy to start, I feel like I am stuck and so goddamn tired all the time. I know there are several drabbles I have completely forgotten to review...Don't even start to talk about school things. And I have meant to do this entry for over a week. Hopefully the fact that I did it ow would mean that things are getting a bit easier...
Doctor also gave me a new med to use at evenings called Ketipinor, not taken regularly, small amount and only when necessary. I just took one now for the first time. I hope there aren't any side-effects...
I have been feeling better. I truly am. Unfortunately it's one of those 'One step forward, two steps back', situations. My depression has been easing now that I have been in therapy over a year. But before when my depression was worse, I never truly thought about my looks or eating. Not at all. I closed those things away from my mind to reserve some of my sanity. Now when the depression has eased, my attention has been taken by those two matters. My binge eating got completely out of control, I rapidly gained weight, I started hating even more of my looks and weight and obsess over those things. And to somehow make myself feel better, there would be a day I ate only once, and the next day I would be bingeing. I talked to my doctor about this and he arranged me to a certain...course meant for binge-eaters. Doctor meeting there, meeting other binge-eaters and couple of lessons to go. It's in february and I am kinda excited about it.
This has made my ability to concentrate...impossible. I forget dozens of things, I spend hours doing nothing because I can't muster enough energy to start, I feel like I am stuck and so goddamn tired all the time. I know there are several drabbles I have completely forgotten to review...Don't even start to talk about school things. And I have meant to do this entry for over a week. Hopefully the fact that I did it ow would mean that things are getting a bit easier...
Doctor also gave me a new med to use at evenings called Ketipinor, not taken regularly, small amount and only when necessary. I just took one now for the first time. I hope there aren't any side-effects...
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Date: 2010-12-08 07:22 pm (UTC)I'm no doctor, but maybe getting it all out in the open instead of bottling it in is why everything is coming out so suddenly and making it seem twice as worse than it was before. Because you're acknowledging what is happening instead of ignoring it in order to feel better, it instead makes it seem worse because you have to think about it all to deal with it. Or maybe? I dunno, like I said, I know very little about these things.
What is the medication for? Anxiety or sleep or something?
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Date: 2010-12-08 07:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-08 08:04 pm (UTC)