(no subject)

[floranna]

I have to make a real update right now what has been happening to me. I have posted few entries now in two-three weeks, but honestly saying, there isn't much of news in there.

I have been feeling better. I truly am. Unfortunately it's one of those 'One step forward, two steps back', situations. My depression has been easing now that I have been in therapy over a year. But before when my depression was worse, I never truly thought about my looks or eating. Not at all. I closed those things away from my mind to reserve some of my sanity. Now when the depression has eased, my attention has been taken by those two matters. My binge eating got completely out of control, I rapidly gained weight, I started hating even more of my looks and weight and obsess over those things. And to somehow make myself feel better, there would be a day I ate only once, and the next day I would be bingeing. I talked to my doctor about this and he arranged me to a certain...course meant for binge-eaters. Doctor meeting there, meeting other binge-eaters and couple of lessons to go. It's in february and I am kinda excited about it.

This has made my ability to concentrate...impossible. I forget dozens of things, I spend hours doing nothing because I can't muster enough energy to start, I feel like I am stuck and so goddamn tired all the time. I know there are several drabbles I have completely forgotten to review...Don't even start to talk about school things. And I have meant to do this entry for over a week. Hopefully the fact that I did it ow would mean that things are getting a bit easier...

Doctor also gave me a new med to use at evenings called Ketipinor, not taken regularly, small amount and only when necessary. I just took one now for the first time. I hope there aren't any side-effects...

Comments

[lady529.livejournal.com]

I'm very glad you've been feeling better. I know what you mean about not caring about food or how you look when depression is at its worst, and it isn't easy when you have to deal with it once you're a bit better. I've never binged, I tend to shy away from food when my moods get involved, but I know the chronic procrastination fairly well. I hate it when I can't concentrate.

I hope there aren't any side-effects to the new med, and that it helps in some way or other.

If you think it helps, have a hug : )

The Lady 529

[yukinoomoni.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to hear from you, though sad that the state you're in is one of confusion and upset.

I'm no doctor, but maybe getting it all out in the open instead of bottling it in is why everything is coming out so suddenly and making it seem twice as worse than it was before. Because you're acknowledging what is happening instead of ignoring it in order to feel better, it instead makes it seem worse because you have to think about it all to deal with it. Or maybe? I dunno, like I said, I know very little about these things.

What is the medication for? Anxiety or sleep or something?

[floranna.livejournal.com]

It's for anxiety.

[yukinoomoni.livejournal.com]

Aw, hon, you're feeling anxious right now?

[akitotsubaki.livejournal.com]

Keep on keeping on, beautiful girl.

[seraphim-grace.livejournal.com]

i just got out of a huge argument with my doctor who assured me that my meds were not causing me to gain weight, that it was my supposed binge eating although everyone who knows me know the alternate is true - i barely eat at all.
so i got to see a second doctor who agreed to change them
it's been less than 2 weeks and I've lost 6lbs already - take that!

i wonder how many times that happens that the doctor is completely wrong simply because they don't listen, they see a fat person and immediately think too much chocolate not enough will power

you're not necessarily overweight because of the binging, you may have to retrain the way you think about food, eating something small every three hours can change things, it was one of the things that my counsellor suggested to me, I had my watch on a timer

i forget everything, and am constantly tired, but the weight is falling off

[beckyh2112.livejournal.com]

That sounds like some of the more... active? active depression signs. Like, you're still depressed, but you're not as depressed. Though you've still got a long ways to go, darling. *hugs* We'll be there with you, though.

[devo79.livejournal.com]

Good to hear form you. And good news as well =)

The binge-eaters course sounds like it might be a really good idea. If nothing else you'll get to talk and deal with that part of your problems.