Late night musings

[floranna]

I just came from movies. I was watching Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. A good movie, and I recommend it.

But there was a moment that made me think (and also made me maudlin). A character is being told by his superior that he will now be most likely watched, so if he has anything in his life that needs to be cleaned up, he should do it immediatly. He goes to home, meets his boyfriend and in the next scene boyfrined leaves, saying: "You can tell me if you have someone new. I am an adult." After the door closes, the character starts crying.

I know the movie is set in the 70s, but it still hits so close to me. I also watched the movie Malcolm X couple of weeks ago, and even there is a black character who is most likely a mathematic genius, but is a criminal because he wouldn't be given the same chances as a white man.

It's just makes me wonder, why humans spend so much time trying to bring each other down, hide something so great and ultimately unharming in themselves, or just punish people because of their race, religion or sexuality. It just feels so much waste of time and resources, if you want to think practically. And just so fucking tiring.

I personally just sometimes get the feeling that I really don't understand people. WHat is wrong with being gay, black or muslim? Am I missing something? Why I just don't feel to GET IT why people spend so much time hating each other?

I just don't get people. What is wrong with me? WHy would you spend so much time bringing me down? I am gay, woman and overweight, but I don't think it changes what or who I am. Why should I hate or doubt a russian, muslim or a black man/woman? Why should I be rude, mean and bully those who disagree with me, was it small or big thing?

I just wonder sometimes.



((And now before anyone gets any ideas, I am no fucking saint or somehow pure or innocent. Just making sure))

Comments

[beckyh2112.livejournal.com]

I have never understood why any of these things are a big deal either. Sadly, we seem to be a minority.

[dungeonwriter.livejournal.com]

Because everyone has a dark side and they throw others under the boss to save themselves.

It's sad, but as someone who grew up knowing that a few short decades ago, I'd be gassed for being born, I stopped believing in the world as this good and benevolent place long ago.

But when you find good people, it's doubly good.

[zuzeca.livejournal.com]

I don't understand it either and I don't excuse it, but I suspect a lot of discriminatory hatred is rooted in fear. And we're all capable of cruelty, I just think that some of us have more empathy and better control.

[ishte.livejournal.com]

No, you see it very clearly. It's not that there is something wrong with YOU. It's some of the other people that have some serious wrong headed thinking. Some people have to find ways to make themselves feel better about themselves, and it shows up in how they find ways to view other people as inferior to them. Some people will never understand this. Some are just ignorant and eventually figure it out. Some don't WANT to ever understand it. I will never understand those people.

[incasink.livejournal.com]

I deem it fear. Fear and being AWARE of fear and insecurity. Not an excuse though...