(no subject)

[floranna]

I watched yesterday CSI NY with my parents. Nothing new now special about this, but there was this one guy who killed himself by taking overdose with his anti-depressedants.

That made me feel seriously uncomfortable and I was happy that the show ended after that so I could go to my room and sleep. Exactly year ago I tried to kill myself by taking overdose on all the meds I found in our family's medicine shelf. And my own anti-depressedants too. A year. I am feeling generally better, but the thought of entrance exams and the fact that I would really like to have a job which is impossible to get when you don't have much work experience has left me stressed and high-strung.

I am supposed to do billion things, pass few tests so I can work as a waitress (for example hygenia test and the test which allows me to serve alcohol to other people) I have already failed both of them once. Avatar_bigbang I haven't even started.

May is going to fucking wonderful...

Comments

[beckyh2112.livejournal.com]

*hugs gently, then gets the hairbrush to work on Floranna's hair* Prioritize. What's more important to you personally? What will give you the least guilt and upset to drop and let lie while you focus on other things?

I know it hurts. But sometimes you can't juggle all the balls in the air, and you just have to let some of them drop.

[floranna.livejournal.com]

All of these worries can released by the fact that I get a job. Then I don't have to hurry so much with the hygienia and other test because those I take only to have a better chance at getting a job. And even if I got to the uni, I have planned to enroll there next year. It is possible here in Finland, because I don't want to move in to another city when my teraphy hasn't yet been finished.

I know I'll have time to write it at summer, when I get finally my own computer (now we have only a one and five people use it) as my graduation present.

I just hope so badly that I get that job...

[yukinoomoni.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you failed, quite honestly. I like you. You've very nice and very wonderful.

And hey, if you can't do bigbang this round, you could always wait till next month. No big deal.

[floranna.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know. I know I'll have time to write it at summer, when I get finally my own computer (now we have only a one and five people use it) as my graduation present. Then I'll get so much more time to write it.

[dungeonwriter.livejournal.com]

Hugs, anything I can do to help? I'm a good study person, I can give you some tips.

[floranna.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much, but it's mainly because when I am really stressed and worried I tend to run far away from stuff which makes me stressed and worried. I.e, tests and exams.

If I just get a job I'll be so much calmer.

[neldluva.livejournal.com]

*big hugs* Fortunately, you've got some good friends here who care about helping out, as much as we can. I don't know about how you operate, but sometimes when things get to be too much for me I go out and exercise ... yoga in particular helps me out, because it's like exercise and meditation combined. It helps me get my mind straight and focused. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

Also, if the Big Bang is contributing a lot to your stress, it might help to remember that the June deadline is only for a rough draft or very detailed outline. The whole enchilada isn't due until August.

I'm crossing my fingers for you on the tests and job!

[devo79.livejournal.com]

I know this is hard...really really hard...cause you just can't turn off your brain.

But try to take one thing at a time. It might make it easier for you to get through this.

[megmatthews20.livejournal.com]

As someone else said, one thing at a time. If you let life's frillion and one stresses attack you all at once, it becomes crushing. But if you worry about this test now, that test after, getting a job later, things will be better.

And failing tests is no big thing. My sister failed her permit test three times, but she got her license eventually, and she is still my favorite person to ride with!

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